Tag Archives: Donald Trump

THE DRAGON LADY AND THE BIG BAD DUCK


The Donald T

By John Jonelis

“Tell me a story, Uncle Loop.”

“Okay Princess, that’s what I’m here for. First let’s get you all tucked in and ready fer bed.” Loop Lonagan sits back in the chair and opens the news app on his phone. “Let’s see what we got here.” He runs down the headlines.

  • “GANG SHOOTING ON HALSTED—No that’ll just get ya all riled up.”
  • “TERRORISTS ABDUCT CHILDREN—Nope. Too scary.”
  • “LOCAL REP ACCUSED OF EMBEZZLEMENT—”

“What’s ‘bezelment, Uncle Loop?”

“Ferget it kid. Way too boring . Here’s another one.”

  • “TRUMP IN BED WITH CLINTON—”

The small voice turns suddenly shrill. “That one! Read me that one, Uncle Loop. It’s a bedtime story.”

“I dunno, kid. It’s politics. Yer daddy and mommy’ll kill me.”

“Please, Uncle Loop. PLEEEEEEZE!” Continue reading THE DRAGON LADY AND THE BIG BAD DUCK

Advertisements

7 stories to read this weekend


17 hours ago

3 Comments

Weekend Plans
Summary:Who is Jimmy Fallon, Presidency outsourced, everything that is wrong with Donald Trump, why do we hate Google buses, the last days of Ambercombie & yet another Texas politician who is ambitious. These and more stories are on reading menu this week.

Another week gone and this one was particularly hard for many reasons. I had to sift through many more articles, but these make the cut, mostly because they have a little sense of current relevance. I hope you enjoy them.

17 hours ago
Like this post? Share it!

Follow @om or @gigaom for more stories like this.

http://gigaom.com/2014/02/22/7-stories-to-read-this-weekend-85/

Donald Trump Explains Apple’s Stock Dip


Next Story
Noted Apple analyst and Birther Movement enthusiast Donald Trump has taken to Twitter, voicing his concerns over Apple’s lack of “vision” and “momentum”. On the heels of yesterday’s earnings report, which included record iPhone and iPad sales, Apple’s stock dropped about 8 percent in after-hours trading.

Why? According to Trump, because the iPhone needs a large-screen option.

This is coming from the same guy who plastered his face all over a Trump-infused version of the Monopoly board game, featuring now bankrupt Trump properties on every square, and somehow failed to sell such a gem to children.

This is the same guy who has failed at 19 businesses in almost as many years, many of which have been given debt relief on the grounds that Trump can no longer be in charge of running them.

Despite selling a record number of iPhones (51 million), Apple missed expectations by a few million units. The iPhone 5c, meanwhile, didn’t perform the way the company had expected.

In short, growth has slowed but Apple, as a hardware manufacturer, is still blowing it out of the water. iPhone sales are still up almost 7 percent from last year. And $13.1 billion in profit in one quarter isn’t something to sneeze at.

Remember, Apple’s stock has dropped the day after quarterly earnings for every earnings report, ever. This happens for a number of reasons — analyst concern over certain markets being saturated, analyst concern over competition in emerging markets, analyst concern over generally slowed growth.

Donald Trump, an analyst in his own right, explained with Tarzanian eloquence his own reasoning for the stock dip.

The good news, for Don, is that Apple is rumored to be working on two larger screen iPhones, at 4.5-inches and 5-inches

TWITTER:  “Apple’s iPhone sales fell way short-they must go to a larger screen, as alternative, fast (as I said long ago)! Samsung’s size much better.” @realDonaldTrump

TWITTER:  “I predicted Apple’s stock fall based on their dumb refusal to give the option of a larger iPhone screen like Samsung. I sold my Apple stock” @realDonaldTrump

What a $65 burger tastes like.


My Review of Umami’s new “M.N.O.” burger

 

My design office is working on a self-initiated, hamburger-related project which involves eating and reviewing a burger a week (more on that later). So when we learned that Umami was offering a $65 burger we were torn. Review or don’t review? Fork over the better part of a C-note for 1/3 pound of fried ground beef, or drop $7 on the best burger I’ve ever had and spend the other 58 bucks on a beer, a 200% tip and a month’s worth of clean water for seven Philippine families. In the end I opted for a compromise:

English: Veggie Burger
English: Veggie Burger (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, what does a $65 burger taste like? It tastes exactly what you think it tastes like. It tastes like disappointment. If you’ve never tasted it, it’s hard to describe exactly what disappointment tastes like. Some know the acrid taste of disappointment—the kind imparted by an ordinary experience that’s been over-seasoned with hype. Others are acquainted with the bilious aftertaste that bubbles up with the revelation that you’ve just paid to be part of a marketing ploy. The M.N.O. offers up both of these flavors, but a refined palate will also identify another flavor—the disappointing taste that accompanies the realization that you’re the kind of person who would pay $65 for a hamburger.

I should clarify here that I have not actually eaten this burger. Nor will I. I know what you’re thinking—how can you review a meal you haven’t tried? Ordinarily I’d agree (and have been known to quote a Maoist maxim to this effect). But I think it’s pretty clear that Umami isn’t really selling a $65 burger. They’re selling a $65 ticket to a club that still thinks conspicuous consumption is cool. They’re selling a $65 prop for an #instabrag photo that not only tells your friends you’ve made it, but also lets them know that this is your first bubble.

Yes, it’s made with some of the priciest meat around (an 8oz. Waygu steak can set you back $350), and topped with truffles and ‘77 port reduction. In New York City—where foie gras hasn’t yet been banned for being inhumane—you can also round it out with a slab of fatted duck liver. I assume the hope here is that if you’ve never heard of Waygu, you’ll at least know that truffles are fancy, or that port is fancy, or that foie gras is fancy, and thus conclude that the burger (and ergo, you) are fancy too—kind of the way Donald Trump coats everything in gold so you’ll be sure to know he’s “classy.” But just in case four layers of iconically indulgent ingredients send too subtle a signal, Umami went ahead and gave it a name to remove all doubt. M.N.O. stands for “Money’s No Object.” Yeah, you read that right. And no, it’s not 1999.

Clearly, then, the exorbitant price of the M.N.O. is not about the provenance of the beef, or the rarity of the truffles, or the vintage of the port, or the patient torture du canard. It’s not about about the flavor—unless that flavor is the savory taste of smugness. No, like the name says, it’s all about the money—and the piquantly arrogant relish that comes from spending it with abandon. The M.N.O. is not a burger. It’s an edible trophy, a prize in a contest called “look at me.” It confuses opulence with ostentation at a time when neither should be admired. It’s a spectacular indulgence that may be as delicious as it is decadent, but if there’s one thing I can tell you without ever taking a bite, it’s that it’s tasteless.

medium -> https://medium.com/p/85fa56a945e3

 

 

 

Here Is Some Advice While Starting Your First Business


bill-gates

Be patient.  It will take time for your business to get off the ground.

“Rule No. 1:  Never lose money.  Rule No. 2 Never forget rule No. 1”  –  Warren Buffet

As a startup entrepreneur, you will likely not want to put in very much money.  Find out what your return on investment will be and go from there.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”  –  Bill Gates

warren-buffett

Do not be afraid to make a mistake.  All of your mistakes will attribute to your success.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”  –  Steve Jobs

Forget what anyone else thinks.  If you think you have a good idea, dive in head first.

“You have to think anyway, so why not think big?”  –  Donald Trump

donald-trump

Think positive.  Map out a five year plan and set your sights high.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”  –  Henry Ford

You live and you learn.  If you are afraid of failure, you will never achieve success.